Written by: Pario Children and Parenting Education Center
Childhood and family have a big impact on a person. As parents, how can you influence your child’s growth? How can you encourage good behavior and character? Here’s how to use rewards and encouragement the right way:
Don’t Make Love a Reward
Parents often say, “If you behave, Daddy will love you.” But love from parents shouldn’t be a reward for good behavior. Kids should feel loved no matter what. Their self-worth shouldn’t depend on how they act or what they achieve.
Don’t Make Regular Habits Rewards
Some parents say, “If you’re good, we’ll go to the park on Sunday!” If going to the park is something they already do regularly, it’s not really a reward. However, if the park is a special treat, it becomes a meaningful reward.
Explain Rewards and Good Behavior Clearly
Rewards are important! Parents should design them carefully. The best rewards are those that are special and different from everyday activities. For example, if you usually go to the park for 30 minutes, today you can stay for 45 minutes. Or if you usually have one type of cookie for a snack, today you can have two kinds. When giving a reward, clearly explain why: “Because you cleaned up your toys, you get an extra cookie!” This helps kids understand what good behavior is and motivates them to keep it up.
Provide Unlimited Support and Encouragement
Kids need support and encouragement to feel safe and confident to try new things. Sometimes, even with a lot of encouragement, kids might not try as hard as parents expect. In those moments, it’s important not to get frustrated and say things like, “I won’t hug you or love you if you don’t try!” This can hurt the child. Instead, parents should say, “I believe in you, and I know you’ll do it next time!” When kids feel enough support, they will take steps forward.
Raising kids can be challenging, but remember to respect their natural talents. Let your appreciation and encouragement guide them as they grow.
Raising kids can be challenging, but remember to respect their natural talents. Let your appreciation and encouragement guide them as they grow.